Lessons from a page of the College Football playbook
Desperate Times
For American college football fans, there is no better time of year than “bowl season,” the New Year’s holiday period during which the top four teams compete in the College Football Playoff (CFP) to determine the National Champion. But as the 2021–2022 bowl season approached, NFL, NHL, NBA, and NCAA football games were being canceled left and right, with hundreds of players, coaches and staff having tested positive and forced to quarantine. On December 15, Insider reported that over a single 2-day period 75 NFL players — roughly 3.4% of all players — had tested positive for COVID-19.
Desperate Measures
On December 21, 2021, the CFP, governed by university presidents and chancellors from all ten Football Bowl Subdivision conferences and Notre Dame, announced additional COVID-19 precautions it would put in place in an effort to stem the tide ahead of bowl season. The new CFP measures required additional player testing and safety protocols, and imposed additional rules, giving rise to the bizarre possibility of a National Champion being crowned through an opponent’s forfeit. Apparently not every team took the measures seriously (or recalled the same problem plaguing the 2020–2021 bowl season) and, through the last day of 2021, six bowl games had been cancelled and several others rescheduled or an alternate team substituted.
But the “final four” CFP teams — those vying against one another for the National Championship — took the mandates very seriously. To these university coaches, players, alumni, fans, trustees, and sponsors, nothing could be more unthinkable than a National Champion determined off the field. Aside from pride, there are millions in ticket sales, concessions, and ad revenues at stake. The #2 ranked University of Michigan Wolverines (#15 ranked medical school) implemented masks in meetings and social distancing, and even began taking their meals to-go. The entire team received booster immunizations on December 22, just nine days before the big game against the Georgia Bulldogs.
The coach of the Bulldogs, Kirby Smart, admitted to “a little bout [with COVID] the last couple of weeks,” noting that Georgia had offered booster shots to its players on four occasions and that some players received them while others didn’t. As COVID cases were increasing in the U.S. in advance of the December 4 SEC Championship game between Georgia and Alabama, Smart said the Bulldogs implemented additional precautions and, indeed, the team was nearly at full strength before playing Michigan on December 31.
The University of Cincinnati reported that more than 99.6% of its football players and staff were vaccinated, and every single player, coach and staff member available for the game had been vaccinated ahead of its December 31 playoff game against Alabama. Though players were permitted to go home to families over the Christmas break, UC head football coach Luke Fickell (45th in the national head coach salary ranking at $3.4 million/year) told players to “…be smart and only be with family and try to keep their circle small.”
Prediction Model
With two days to go before the National Championship game, I’m prepared to make a bold prediction on the outcome: Not one coach or starting player on either team will test positive and miss this game. But whether I’m proven right or wrong, the nearly 100% eradication of COVID across these four playoff teams begs the inevitable question: What if the health and safety of our family, teachers, health care workers, and neighbors, was as important as the outcome of a football game? A National Championship ring?
Modest Proposal
The World Health Organization could organize a country-by-country bowl series in which the entire population of each country participated in a virtual bowl game. With the spectacular rise in nationalism, there’s no need to actually compete in a sporting event; instead, the champion is determined solely by the lowest COVID test rate. Random PCR testing would be implemented in February across each country’s population, with independent WHO observers to ensure proof of citizenship and nasal swab chain-of-custody. To compete in the March Madness final four championship, more stringent rules of engagement would apply. For example, any country that invaded another sovereignty or tampered with a national election (through social media disinformation, hacking, gerrymandering, voting restrictions, or otherwise) during the year would be automatically disqualified and forced to donate all revenue from TV ads and t-shirt sales back to the WHO.
Win-Win
Vaccinated citizens of the winning nation would all be awarded COVID International Championship rings, and the 365 cities with the lowest COVID positivity rate would each have the opportunity to host the championship trophy for one day. Taking a page from the CFP playbook, if no country was below a 90% positivity rate the championship would be vacated. Those still alive would be compensated for their great sacrifice in personal freedom with an automatic entry into a drawing for their choice of a Range Rover, Dodge Ram 1500, or 2-week supply of MREs and bottled water. Potentially overlooked benefits of the competition are reduced hospitalizations, increased employment, restored supply chains, economic stability, preservation of democracy and survival of the human race.
UPDATE January 11, 2022: In fact, there were no reports of any players or coaches in the Championship game who had to sit out as a result of testing positive. CFP pandemic eradicated in less than one month.
